Driving Lessons

 

I don’t remember ever having a formal discussion with my wife before or after getting married about who drives when we travel together but looking back over our 9 years of married life it’s pretty clear that I do the driving. Whether short trips or long I do virtually all of the driving and there are 2 major lessons that I have learned over these years.

Lesson 1: She notices a ton more than me when I’m driving.

Maybe it’s because I’ve got a destination and objective in mind or I’m talking a ton while focusing on the road ahead but it’s pretty clear that she is able to notice the bigger picture much better than me. There are countless times when there is no rush that I happen to notice something new along the way. I’ll see a new store open, an old store closed, and think that this is a new occurrence only to be informed by my wife that it’s been that way for weeks or months. As a passenger she has the freedom to actually observe her surroundings in a way that I cannot. While I am busy avoiding the crazy drivers filling the roadway she is able to enjoy the ride so long as I’m not being a crazy driver myself.

Lesson 2: I am a horrible passenger!

I can’t overstate this fact enough and I know my wife is nodding as she reads this. Perhaps this is why she lets me drive virtually all the time. The only thing worse than my driving is having me as a passenger. One of us has been pulled over 4 times since we got married and it’s not her. Granted, I get out of any and all tickets because I am the smoothest man alive but Lori has yet to be pulled over once since we exchanged vows. That says plenty about her driving and the few times she drives she deserves some peace and quiet when it comes to my driving comments. And as far as passengers go Lori is wonderful! She reserves her comments until after her breath returns and I have managed to avoid another accident. It was the other driver’s fault of course. I’m not sure how she does it but I’m guessing it has a little to do with radical trust.

　
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.---Romans 12:2

　
You’re probably wondering what a verse like this would have to do with the driving lessons above but I think there is plenty to be learned here. Here are two lessons we see in this passage.

Lesson 1: Drivers Conform.

The more we are behind the wheel the more we start driving like everyone else. This is something we actively do. There is nobody forcing us to live in ways that conform to the patterns of this world but in an effort to blend in we naturally steer that way. Chances are that we don’t even notice how much we blend in. We can get so focused on where we’re going and the traffic in our immediate area that we miss most of what’s going on. Conforming happens when we’re in control and along with a false sense of power we struggle to trust others with the wheel. I wonder if my comments about life addressed to God resemble my comments about driving to my wife.

Lesson 2: Passengers are Transformed.

In contrast to us changing to blend in with the world this is more about letting God mold and shape us. When we try to do the forming we end up conforming. When we slide over to the passenger seat we are in a position to be transformed. This passenger view provides quite a few perks provided we learn to trust the driver. If you struggle with trust you just may be too scared or nervous to notice the possibilities. 
 
The first perk is rest. The main issue that requires me to be a passenger is exhaustion. If I worked the night prior and Lori is in a hurry to hit the road I try to get some shuteye during the first part of the trip. I do manage to fall asleep because falling asleep is my spiritual gift but I struggle to stay asleep. Every little tap of the brake or turn of the wheel is enough for me to sit straight up and look around wide-eyed fully expecting to see our car sliding under a semi. Trust helps us get rest when we need it because we’re not worrying about who is in control. Another perk is the ability to actually enjoy the ride. There’s nothing worse as a driver than having to miss something because you have to keep your attention on the road. You can only steal a quick glance while passengers are able to give something their full attention. I have lost every game of ‘yellow car’ for the sole reason that my wife has free reign to look down every alley. That is why I purchased a little yellow matchbox car as her trophy and the game is forbidden when we travel.

So who’s in control of your vehicle as you travel down the road of life? Maybe it’s time you handed over control. Maybe you’ve handed over control but you’re still learning to trust. Maybe you’ve learned to trust and are now able to not only enjoy where you are currently in life but are also able to discern his ‘good, pleasing and perfect will’. The issue of control is an ongoing one as there is always the temptation to return to the driver’s seat. But if the destination is transformation there is only one seat where you can fully enjoy the ride.