The Bravest Person I Know

I am the bravest person I know. Quit laughing. I’m serious. For those that actually know me this might be a bit too much to take in because I’m rarely serious and they’re probably well aware of my fear of water. I grew up in the country and my exposure to swimming was pretty limited. I honestly don’t even know if I could tread water if push came to shove and I ended up in deep water. It would literally take some pushing and shoving to get me in deep water. I did receive lessons when I was younger but there was one big problem. If I stood on my tip toes I could still keep my head above water. Because my feet could touch the bottom of the pool I never truly had to face my fear and learn to swim confidently. Because of this fear I have forever united myself via the bonds of marriage to a woman genetically linked to dolphins. She LOVES to swim and I’m fairly confident she would attempt to save me.

During my high school years I attended a youth conference in Phoenix but before the event officially started the group I was a part of went to a water park. I LOVE basketball and my love for basketball was the only thing that could lure me into what I later found out was a huge wave pool. Apparently this particular wave pool would be off for 15 minutes and then on for 15 minutes and it just so happened to be off when I first saw the pool. I got involved in a basketball game in the pool but shortly afterward the wave machine came on and the 5 feet of water I was in quickly became 10 feet at it’s peak. My short life flashed before my eyes but ultimately I got a hold onto the side and lifted my scrawny butt out of there.

So what makes me the bravest person I know? I go to church! Not only that, I also go to other churches! Since the church I regularly attend has Saturday services this provides me the opportunity on Sunday mornings to attend services at a variety of churches. And get this! I have attended a men’s bible study at a church I don’t regularly attend! If attending church makes me brave then attending other churches as well as participating in things like a men’s study makes me the bravest person I know. Anyone with a brain knows that churches are filled with the most judgmental, hypocritical, phoney, sexist, racist, homophobic, self righteous, gun toting patriots you’ll ever come across. Fill a church building with these types of people and you have the scariest place you’d never want to visit!

Time for the truth. I am not brave at all. Shoot, I’m not even the bravest in my own home on most days. Going to churches doesn’t make me brave in the least because to be honest church isn’t the scariest place to visit. Despite how consistently church people are portrayed as ignorant and hate filled in the media I know that this simply is not the case. The most loving and intelligent people I have ever met in my life I have met in connection with the Christian church. Don’t get me wrong, churches have their share of baffoons just like the rest of our world. But generalizations simply don’t work and there are many people that have a very generalized fear concerning the church. Fears shape the boundaries of our lives. I fear water so that limits where I go. I’ll go out into Lake Michigan so far but there is this 5 foot high boundary that says just how far. I am not afraid of ‘the church’ so I have no issue walking in to places I’ve never been and places where I might not know a single person there. As an actual churchgoer I know what church is really like but for some the thought of going to church stirs up all sorts of anxiety and so for them that is a boundary they don’t want to cross. They have bought into things that I don’t deem to be truthful and are afraid of something that ought not be feared.

(Let me interject a brief disclaimer here: I am not oblivious to the multitude of people who have been genuinely hurt by church people. I know the stories because I know the people. There are people who have left the church and done so quietly because no word could be uttered. You won’t hear their voices in the media because they don’t want it to be heard. They don’t want the stories retold because they don’t want to relive the nightmare they experienced. The pain is deep. In many ways I think the pain is a little bit deeper because whatever it was happened in the context of the church. People are more vulnerable because they feel safe and then something happened that shouldn’t have. If this is your story just know I’m not directing this at you.)
    Maybe there are some that wouldn’t necessarily call their anxiety or hesitation about church a fear. There are plenty of people who have had pretty horrid church experiences and maybe anger or disappointment in church people is more in line with why they stay away from church. Here’s my main issue with people who stay away from the church for whatever the reason: A person who has had a bad work experience would not quit working for the entirety of their lives because of the bad experience they had at one or two jobs. Such a person would try to find work somewhere else because making a living is vital to their growth and development as well as survival. Yet people quit going to church for the entirety of their lives because of something that happened 20-30 years ago! The only way a person can take such a drastic stand is if they do not see what happens in connection with the church as vital to their growth and development as well as their survival as a believer. That view of church (that it is not vital) is utterly and biblically false. Perhaps I’ll do a blog series at a later time about the many ways in which a church through the work of the Spirit is a source of growth and maturation for believers. Or perhaps a series on how disconnecting from fellowship of all types is one of the most unfruitful choices a believer can make.  Or about how people tend to magnify their bad experience in order to justify their absence.  I could go on and on. 

Back when it was actually nice outside, unlike the dreary Illinois day today, my wife and I went to Lake Michigan for a quick dip. I surprised my wife by actually getting in. I might add that I’m also not a fan of sand. OCD. As we stood out near the 5 foot boundary I had a newfound fear. I wondered what would happen if Lori were ever in danger in the water. I’ve seen the news stories of spouses dying trying to save their loved one and I was convinced that could just as easily be me. I told Lori to never ever put herself in a risky situation because the thought of me being unable to save her would be a nightmare and chances are I’d drown trying to. I now have another reason to get over my fear of swimming. Not only do I need to get over my fear in order to keep myself safe but if I want to be of any use to those I love or even just some stranger in need it's time for me to learn how to swim.

My guess is that there are entire families that would benefit tremendously if one person would get over their fear and lead the way to a place that isn’t to be feared at all. I recently read an excellent book by Brennan Manning called The Signature of Jesus. In it he contrasts ‘metanoia’ with ‘paranoia’. Metanoia is a biblical word referring to conversion or repentance, or a change of mind. It’s easy for us to think of the mentally ill when we see the word paranoia but biblically there is something extremely helpful here. Paranoia is more an attitude or stance of the heart. And as John Heagle, author of On the Way, puts it:

"Paranoia of the spirit is an attempt to deny the reality of Jesus in such a way that we rationalize our behavior and choose our own way."

What is the stance of your heart toward God? How long has it been that way? Perhaps a change of mind in regard to church might be a good first step towards growth in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.